Posted: January 4, 2009
I was raised in the corner of the room. Backed up against the wall. Isolated. Tormented. Dominated. Intimidated. I was cared for but not cared about. I was loved but I was not wanted. I never really questioned it. I knew from an early age that my parents had no hold over me. But that didn’t stop the physical and mental devastation from taking my mind. I spent years trying to annihilate myself and rebuild my soul only to find it shattered and alone again. The true outcome of my decision to experiment with chemistry, deprivation, and excess are untold as of yet but I feel them daily as I try to keep my life in order. I am consumed by time. I never have a moment unaccounted for. I move quickly from one obsession to the next throughout my day, in varying degrees of tunneled thought. I have no other options before me, I am a driven force. I will go until I am stopped.