Here We Go Jesus, Here We Go!!

Posted: January 31, 2009

 On the eve of the Super Bowl, which has been the pinnacle of pain to my loyal heart in these recent years, I feel it is time to recognize the premier Jesus Freak Athlete in sports today. If there is someone more about “The Power and The Glory”, then Kurt Warner I am not aware of him(please leave your suggestions in the comments section). This guy and his manish wife have been out bible thumping on the worlds stage for 10 years now. 

 His story is a good one. He was a bag boy at the supermarket, sorting through the hard stuff and the soft stuff, supporting his family in Iowa. The Arena Football League started up and he got shot with the local team. Apparently through the power of Jesus he was able to “lift” his team to a championship and at the same time he caught the tear clouded eye of Dick Vermeil, then coach of the soft as a cloud St. Louis Rams. He then got a job in the NFL and took over the starting position to once again “lift” the absolutely softest championship team that the NFL has ever seen to a victory in the Super Bowl.
 The ’85 Bears would have left this team bleeding and crying on the floor in the corner of the bathroom, The ’76 Raiders would have had these guys swishing up and down the tier selling the asses for honeybuns, The ’00 Ravens would have murdered these guys at a bar in Atlanta(Oops!? was that my outside voice). But anyway where was I…
…Listen, I’m actually rooting for this guy tomorrow. Let me tell you why. First and foremost, as a Raider fan, I Fucking Hate The Steelers. I respect them. They are the greatest organization in professional football hands down. But I hate them more and for longer then any other team out there. The pain of ’70’s and fucking “immaculate reception” does not go away, ever. But really more then “the longest hatred”, is the fact that after 10 years of Kurt Warner constantly pumping God into our ears I have turned a 180 and I have to respect his consistency, in the end the guy is genuine. And I have to respect that. Be real. What else can you ask for? I also appreciate the guy letting us know where he stands and what and who he is. So today, I find myself cheering for the living embodiment of the most popular black man ever. No not Barack, not Michael Jordan, not the strangely oppressively name of Martin Luther King(look up his name sake Martin Luther), but good ole’ Jesus Christ born in manger after his Momma was violated by a ghost…actually sounds real enough for me. Fuck it. Go Cardinals!